Thoughts

Stereotyped wishes of an Indian family

“Beta, you will surely become an engineer,” says the father who himself is an engineer. And he is saying those words to his newborn son.

What the heck!ย My mind screams.

Out of the 60,000 babies born in a day in India, the fate of almost 59,000 babies are sealed right at the moment of birth. They are either stamped as engineers or doctors by their over-enthusiastic parents and relatives. I must say, that if they wish their sons or daughters to become only engineers or doctors, then there would only be computers, machines and hospitals all over the country instead of food to eat, water to drink or bathe, books to refer, sports activities to energize and music to entertain. All your senses will soon turn numb without their necessary requirements. Though engineers upgrade the world and doctors save lives, our very own existence depends on other people who might not even know what ‘engineering’ or ‘medicine’ means.

We wouldn’t be having A.R.Rahman, MS Randhawa, Sachin Tendulkar or Amish Tripathi if their parents wanted them to be engineers or doctors. You wouldn’t even have known their names. They might have been some unknown Rahman or Sachin from a well-developed city or NRIs settled in abroad. Their parents inculcated and encouraged their talents, instead of pushing them to earn a B.E or MBBS degree.

Nowadays, extra-curricular activities and talents are seen as something that will destruct a child’s progress in studies. A child who is talented is looked down by his or her own parents and relatives. They probably think that the child might over-indulge in his/her talents and deviate from their main aim i.e., to become an engineer or doctor. Talents and other skills have earned a different meaning in India nowadays. They are stereotyped as accompaniments for a child whose prime goal is to take up engineering or medicine.

There is also societal pressure. Parents feel ashamed to tell that their child is a sportsperson or a musician. They feel proud in ranting that their child is an engineer or a doctor. The true potential of a child is suppressed just because of the stereotyped wishes of his/her family. And there is also the question of, “Who will marry my son who is an author?” or “Who will marry my daughter who is an athlete?” At this point, I must remind you that Amish Tripathi, Ravinder Singh, Jhumpa Lahiri, Sachin Tendulkar, Sania Mirza, A.R.Rahman and M.S.Dhoni are all married. They are full time sportspersons, authors and musicians and yet they live a happy life with their family. I firmly believe that each and every person has a soulmate in their life. You need not be an engineer or a doctor to get married. You need not be an engineer or doctor to prove your worth, to prove your place in the society or to prove your existence.

People think that being an engineer or doctor is the only means of income for a family. But that is not true. There is required reward for each and every profession in the world. We must learn to live happily with whatever we get. Even as a cricketer, magician or an author, you can earn enough. Your personal satisfaction is important rather than the number of zeroes in your salary.

You live only once and you have to live that one life in the happiest way possible. What’s the use of living a forced life? What’s the use of being in a job that drives you to boredom?

To all the Indian families, instead of telling that my son or daughter will become a doctor, try telling that he or she will become an artist. There will be genuine happiness on your child’s face. And to all the young people out there, don’t feel ashamed to tell that you are a singer or a football player. You have your own identity in this world. Be what you wish and be happy with that. ๐Ÿ™‚

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5 thoughts on “Stereotyped wishes of an Indian family

    1. Thank you for your comment Sri Di.. ๐Ÿ™‚
      I came across many people for whom engineering or medicine wasn’t their choice. They were living the life of someone else. But sadly, this will not change. It will continue for many generations as you pointed out.

      Like

  1. Excellently pointed out. My dad is a doctor okay and one of his friends, who wants his son to become a doctor badly too, is asking my dad and everyone else to advise him. To take up an MBBS seat! And that’s the last thing that boy wants. It’s everywhere, the stereotyped families urging for their children to get an ME or MBBS seat. How many doctors and engineers are famous in this world? Who are JK Rowling, Taylor Swift, Stephenie Meyer, Ellen DeGeneres, Vikram and Tom Cruise then? People having ME or MBBS diplomas stashed across their wall? NO! Indian parents have to be seriously woken up to reality. If their child isn’t a doctor or an engineer, will they disown them then? Or won’t they be married off?I don’t see my parents looking down on me just because I stopped with an undergraduate course and took up the ambition of being a full time author. They’re encouraging me all they can. Why can’t all Indian parents let go of this stupid prejudice and let the child do what he or she wants? There was a recent image I saw in Whatsapp:
    An Irony of India: A country where everyone becomes an engineer first and then think of what to become in life.
    If people become more open-minded, the country can develop vastly. Wouldn’t you agree?

    Like

    1. “I donโ€™t see my parents looking down on me just because I stopped with an undergraduate course and took up the ambition of being a full time author. Theyโ€™re encouraging me all they can.”

      I really appreciate and respect your parents. ๐Ÿ™‚
      And as you pointed out, India is indeed a country where engineers are still pondering upon what to do with their life. Though I am an engineer with a job at hand, I feel that the life of many other engineers are at stake. Since they are forced to study, their true potential never comes out. They might have aspired to become an athlete, a full-time novelist or an actor. But this cruel society will surely look down on them and even they might go to the extent of questioning their existence. Pity on them!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah!! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ some people aspire to be engineer or doctor, that is different. But to be forced into it is seriously …. diabolical!

        Liked by 1 person

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